Clear Vision Counselling

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November 20th, 2016
November 20th, 2016

    Shame, Blame and Disrespect and what to do about them

    Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.”
     Brené Brown
     
    We all make mistakes in life. When the mistakes within our relationships are acknowledged and discussed then we can move past them into a new phase of our relationship making them stronger than ever. However, as the quotes states, these situations have to be rare and both parties have to be willing to be vulnerable and honest with each other. Direct communication is vital in a deep and meaningful relationship.
     



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    January 5th, 2016
    January 5th, 2016

      How Can You Increase Your Happiness?

      Happiness Is Your Birthright
      Happiness Is Your Birthright

      1. Spend Time in Nature

      Spending time in nature can help you disconnect from your usual routine and receive a boost of energy, clarity, and gratitude. Can you remember a time when you felt lethargic, but once you got into nature you felt a complete mental, emotional, and physical shift? Nature is a happiness prescription and could provide you with a much-needed perspective shift.

      2. Keep a Gratitude Journal

      Taking the time each day to reflect on the things that you are grateful for can help you maintain a positive outlook on life. When you choose to focus on positive things, such as relationships, good health, having a roof over your head, and the shining sun, you can come closer to a state of pure joy. Spend a few minutes each day to write about one thing you are grateful for and why you are grateful for it. Explore what thoughts can light up feelings of gratitude.

      3. Meditate

      Meditation has been linked with an increase in positive emotions. Time spent in stillness and silence can unplug you from the hustle and bustle of your busy life and invite you inward for a mind-body reset. Spend 15 to 30 minutes in meditation every day and notice how it can help you to gain a new perspective, shift your mood, and even provide you with more energy.

      4. Surround Yourself with Positive People

      Have you ever walked into a room where someone was in a bad mood and felt your energy shift? How about when you´re with people who are complaining about their lives or their jobs? The people you surround yourself with can have an effect on you, either positive or negative. Surrounding yourself with positive people can greatly enhance your ability to maintain cheerfulness.

      5. Work With a Life Coach or Counsellor

      Working with a coach or counsellor can help you overcome obstacles and limiting beliefs and achieve meaningful results. A coach can hold your highest vision and help you make strides toward achieving your dreams. Having someone to jog the path alongside you, celebrating your wins and keeping you on track is a great way to improve and maintain high levels of emotional health.

      6. Cultivate a New Hobby

      What are you passionate about? What activities make you come alive? Having a hobby can unplug you from responsibilities and connect you to inner happiness. Maybe you enjoy writing, knitting, horseback riding, golfing, gardening, or creating art. Find something that you enjoy doing so much that lose yourself when engaged in it.

      7. Exercise

      Exercise is one of the fastest and most effective ways to positively shift your emotional state. Low energy can contribute to depression. The endorphins that are released during exercise increase your energy levels, boost your mood, and reduce symptoms of stress. Find some form of physical activity that you enjoy doing regularly to maintain your emotional health.

      8. Review Your Day Each Night

      Recapitulation is a process of reviewing your day just prior to going to sleep each night. The purpose of this exercise is to become keenly aware of how you´re living your life and to observe your own behavior patterns.

      To do this, sit upright in your bed and recall the moment you woke that morning. Then briefly review everything you did throughout the day, from activities to conversations to interactions. The whole process should only take about two minutes. By becoming more aware of your thoughts, words, and actions, you can consciously create change.

      9. Declutter Your Environment

      It´s been said that the outer world is a reflection of what´s inside and vice-versa. Having a clutter-free, organized environment can lead to clarity of mind and relaxation. Take time each day to put things back in their place when you´re done using them, file paperwork in a desk, tidy up living spaces, and put away clothes. Watch how your emotional state improves. If you´re interested in more ideas on how to declutter, check out Marie Kondo´s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing.

      10. Practice Forgiveness

      One of the biggest sources of emotional toxicity is holding onto grievances toward self and others. No one is perfect. Many people resist forgiveness because they cannot conceive of letting the other person off the hook. Forgiveness is not about approving a particular behavior; instead, it is about cultivating peace. The ancient Hawaiian practice of forgiveness called Ho´Oponopono is a simple 4-step process that will help you effectively practice a process of forgiveness.

      Whatever your New Year´s goals may be, be sure to nourish yourself by cultivating practices that will optimize your emotional health. Remember, your potential is limitless and with a strong emotional foundation, you can achieve anything.
      - See more at: http://www.chopra.com/ccl/10-new-years-practices-to-improve-your-emotional-health#sthash.R8BdCC73.4rACmzVb.dpuf

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      June 29th, 2015
      June 29th, 2015

        No-Body Intensive with Byron Katie - A Review

        Interesting and Valuable Workshop

         In early June I had the privilege of going down to California to attend Byron Katie´s 5 day No-Body Intensive workshop. I have seen many of her YouTube videos and I am familiar with The Work which she teaches, however, I found that the workshop was even better than I expected.

        During this workshop we experienced the truth that our thoughts have only the meaning we give them. Since we are always thinking of something that is in the past or in the future then we are really not thinking of anything at all. These are concepts I have heard before but she guided us through some exercises which demonstrated this truth to us clearly.

        There were many opportunities for us to practice The Work. This consists of 4 questions and then some turnarounds. For example, a statement such as; "he hates me" gets turned around to the self - "I hate me". Then the client sits with that to see how that is true in a particular situation. The next turnaround would be “I hate him”. Then the client would sit with that idea with eyes closed and really feel how this may be true or truer than the original statement. And finally, “he doesn't hate me” and the ways that this might be true. The advantage of this style is that each person comes to their own awareness of what is true for them. This style really helps us see from a different and more benevolent perspective.

        I have found The Work to be a wonderful addition to the work I do in counselling and I enjoy incorporating it into my sessions. My clients have reported feeling much lighter and clearer after doing The Work.

        For more information about The Work you can give me a call and feel free to explore the website; http://www.thework.com.




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        April 16th, 2015
        April 16th, 2015

        Unconditional Self Love - Paul Ferrini

        “You demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself.

        And, as you do, you attract others into your life who are able to love you without conditions.”

        Paul Ferrini

        It is typical for us to look for others to love us unconditionally and when they don't we can feel betrayed, cheated or broken into pieces. However, how can anyone do exactly what we expect them to at the time we want them to? Usually, they can't. This is when we have to look within for the answers and to respond to ourselves with kindness and forgiveness instead of with criticism and blame. When we can meet ourselves with tenderness we can begin to acknowledge our own intrinsic self worth and value. Once my love for myself overrides my self criticism, the path is opened for others to love me in this way as well.

        Loving myself is an inside job.

        Love Christie


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        January 4th, 2015
        January 4th, 2015

          What about this anger?

          What to do when we feel angry

          The Way Past Anger
          The Way Past Anger
          Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath.
          ~Eckhart Tolle
           
          Anger often comes from feeling guilty about something or from feeling powerless to change a particular circumstance. The pain is there and when you can listen beyond the anger to the message underneath you may hear a message like....."Please tell me that I believe about myself is not true."

          Our beliefs about ourselves tend to dominate our actions. Although this is a simple concept, the trick is that the beliefs are often below the conscious level. Therefore, when I am working from the belief that I am not good enough, for instance, everything I see will be tainted with that belief. However, if I don't recognize the belief then I will inevitably blame someone or something else for what is happening. A ripe moment for us to get angry.

          Although it is common to get angry, the trick is not to justify it or to blame someone else. It is ideal to acknowledge that I am mad or angry and then stop! Don't blame or attack. Just sit with the anger and listen. What is underneath it? Often there is hurt or pain or sadness of some sort. What is this and where does it come from? What am I making this mean about me?

          When I can identify what is creating the anger in me then I can learn to let it go and relate to others with compassion and kindness.



           


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          September 6th, 2014
          September 6th, 2014

            Relationship Angst - Daytime Group

            Are you having difficulty in your relationship?

            Relationship Angst
             
            Are there some people who just get under your skin?
            Do you feel frustrated by the lack of communication?
            Are you at times angry, irritated and resentful with others?
             
            Perhaps it would be helpful to get another perspective on this situation. Most often we look at the other person from our perspective and when we get upset it feels almost impossible to get past it.
             
            It is not impossible.
             
            Join us in a small group in South Surrey as we work on what is stopping you from having happy and healthy relationships.
             
            Thursday mornings from 10am - 12pm for 6 weeks
             
            Beginning on September 18th - Oct 23rd we will meet weekly in a small group to discuss and to move through our challenges in relationships.
             
            Cost $250.00 for all six weeks and must be prepaid.
             
            Minimium 6  - Maximum 10 people
             
            Please contact me for more details.
             
            Warmly,
            Christie
            604 720 7093


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            More Items...

            August 28th, 2014
            August 28th, 2014

            Looking Back at Leukemia

            click to view detail
            In November 2013 I was diagnosed with a life threatening form of leukemia called Acute Myeloid Leukemia. Within a few days of this diagnosis I was in the hospital on chemotherapy. This is a short account of my experiences.
            July 19th, 2014
            July 19th, 2014

            Weekend Quote - Kindness is a Language

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            Weekend Quotes - Kindness is a Language
            October 16th, 2013
            October 16th, 2013

            Announcing a Daytime Woman's Support Group

            Please join us on Friday mornings from 9:30am - 10:30am - November 1st - December 6th 2013 -

            click to view detail
            Are you struggling in your relationship?
            Do you wonder what your purpose is?
            Do you battle with weight and body image?
            Do you feel alone and lost at times?
            Do you have trouble managing stress?

            There is another way!

            September 20th, 2013
            September 20th, 2013

            Can our Relationship Survive an Affair?

            Sometimes an affair can move a relationship into a deeper and more loving place.

            click to view detail
            A small church in Greece on the wedding day
            You may ask, what good could possibly come from an affair? The betrayal and hurt are overwhelming and you may wonder - How will I ever be able to trust him/her again?"
            September 13th, 2013
            September 13th, 2013

            Relationship Stress - One Day workshop - Saturday, September 28th

            Learn how to see the other person from a different and much more forgiving perspective.

            click to view detail
            Would you like an opportunity to understand a current relationship you are engaged in? Would you like to feel more calm and relaxed with this person and have better communication between you? Join us in a small group atmosphere as we offer you tools to connect with the people in your life from a different and more peaceful perspective.
            June 29th, 2013
            June 29th, 2013

            The Burden of Guilt - A German's Perspective

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            I met an interesting German woman when I was travelling in Greece. I found that she was carrying an emotional burden that was much heavier  than her suitcase.
            June 4th, 2013
            June 4th, 2013

            A Great Couple - Meeting in Italy

            What makes a great relationship?

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            Have you ever known a couple who are truly polite, kind and considerate of each other? What makes a relationship work in this manner?
            April 24th, 2013
            April 24th, 2013

            Have you read " Dying to be Me?"

            A review of the book - Dying to be Me by Anita Moorjani

            "I believe that the greatest truths of the universe don't lie outside, in the study of the stars and the planets. The lie deep within us, in the magnificence of our heart, mind and soul. Until we understand what is within, we can't understand what is without.

            I share my story here in the hope of touching your heart in some way and reminding you of your own magnificence."

            Anita Moorjani - Preface

            March 28th, 2013
            March 28th, 2013

            Listening - The Way to Connect Through Relationships

            Do you ever feel completely unheard? How good of a listener are you?

            click to view detail
            Sadie, the counselling dog, loves to listen!
            How often do we really listen to another person? I am talking about listening without wanting to get our own point across but simply allowing the other person to be the way they are? What would it feel like to do that? How would it feel to receive this?
            February 7th, 2013
            February 7th, 2013

            Should we avoid difficult people?

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            This is a beautiful demonstration of how we can treat people who are difficult and who we may want to ostracize because of their behaviour. Rejection is painful. It feels horrible to be intentionally left out or pushed out of a group. Most of us have had that experience at some time.

            How different would it have been to have been embraced instead of rejected? How would it have felt for both the group as well as the person involved? When I help one person, I help everyone.

            January 25th, 2013
            January 25th, 2013

            How to Say No and Mean it.

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            Did you say NO?
            Often we can feel as though someone is “guilting” us into agreeing to do something that we don't particularly want to do. In fact, no one ever can MAKE us feel guilty but we certainly can choose guilt when we try to get another person's approval or appreciation or love.

            I often have my clients ask themselves "Is this decision coming from love or fear?" When I am coming from love, then the answer could be yes or no and I will be content because it is an honest yes or no. If it is coming from f...

            December 27th, 2012
            December 27th, 2012

            Is Money An Emotional Issue?

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            Feeling As Though You Are Out On A Financial Ledge?
            Do you spend too much money buying things that are not really necessary?
            Do you question why you need to spend so much?
            Is excessive spending creating conflict in your marriage or family?

            There is a better way.

            November 21st, 2012
            November 21st, 2012

            Clear Vision November Newsletter

            click to view detail
            Find out who you are and figure out what you believe in. Even if it's different from what your neighbors believe in and different from what your parents believe in. Stay true to yourself. Have your own opinion. Don't worry about what people say about you or think about you. Let the naysayers nay. They will eventually grow tired of naying.”
             Ellen DeGeneres, Seriously...I'm Kidding

            November 1st, 2012
            November 1st, 2012

            A Bias for Trust

            click to view detail
            A Rainbow in Peru
            Entering onto a relationship with suspicion and fear can damage the relationship beyond repair. The fear actually spreads like wildfire and both people can end up afraid and not knowing how to make a positive change.

            Instead, I can know that everyone is actually the same as me. We all want to be loved and supported. Perhaps I will find that by offering this up this trust I will receive it for myself.

            We are always discovering what we expect to find.

            October 1st, 2012
            October 1st, 2012

            Would you Rather Be Right or Happy?

            Right or Happy .....it IS a choice!

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            A Piranha´s teeth.....this is us when we want to be right.
            When I want to be right about what I am believing about another, I am actually deciding against my own happiness. This can create so much tension and fear that the whole relationship can disintegrate. This would be exactly what I DO NOT want to happen. It is worth stopping and asking myself what do I want to be right about? What is so important anyway? If the answer is the person in front of you, then a more diplomatic response may be the order of the day.
            September 6th, 2012
            September 6th, 2012

            Maybe - A Zen Buddhist Fable

            Is something good or bad......Maybe.

            click to view detail
            “Maybe,” said the farmer.

            -A Zen Buddhist Fable

            We are often so quick to judge a situation as bad or good. Have you ever noticed that something you thought was the worst thing that could every happen to you turned out rather well? Or that a situation you considered to be wonderful was in fact, a real nightmare?

            Read more...

            July 30th, 2012
            July 30th, 2012

            I Can Do It!

            And other messages we give ourselves

            click to view detail
            English Garden
            The messages we give ourselves are ever so powerful. Choose the good ones!
            July 17th, 2012
            July 17th, 2012

            Are You Experiencing "The Silent Treatment?"

            Is The Silent Treatment an effective way to communicate?

            click to view detail
            Is the Silent Treatment been a form of communication you are familiar with?

            It can be an effective way to communicate but not a good way to connect.

            If connection is of interest, there are many other options.

            June 25th, 2012
            June 25th, 2012

            The Window From Which We Look

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            Our perception of what we see determines how we feel and the judgments we hold. Very often, our perception is wrong. I invite you to read this little story to better understand this concept.

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