June 4th, 2013
What makes a great relationship?
I had the great fortune to be away for a few weeks in May. While I was travelling, I met a number of people and saw lots of wonderful places. I found that a few of these meetings were inspiring or thought provoking and I wanted to share a few of these experiences with you.
A Great Couple
One day fairly early in my trip, I went on a full day tour from Sorrento, Italy to the Greek ruins of Paestum (in Italy). While on the bus, I asked a few people on the tour bus where they were from and one couple said they were from Nanaimo on Vancouver Island. We struck up a conversation and interestingly, we shared a very similar itinerary on our two trips. We ended up meeting a number of times along the way.
Early on in this meeting, I noticed that this couple, Mary and Dan, were quite unique in that they were so polite and kind to each other. Frankly, I watched and waited for the penny to drop, or for them to get impatient or irritated with each other. I was EVEN in the car when he drove, she navigated and he took the wrong road, and still, no sharp words or harsh tone. Just factual statements;
You turned the wrong way.
We have to go back and turn right instead of left.
Good thing we left early! We still have lots of time.
They had lived in a number of cities in Canada and now reside in Nanaimo and one day I asked her where her home is. She promptly replied, Calgary. But then she said, "Actually, home is wherever he is and so I am home right now." And then she grinned at him.
I was struck by the lightness and love between them. I also thought of how much my ex-husband would have loved to have heard those words coming from me years ago!
Later I mentioned to them that I had never seen a couple that were so kind and considerate to each other. She confessed that it hadn't always been this way. She said that for many years she was disrespectful to him. I asked her what that looked like. She told me that she was impatient at times and just not very nice at others but that he wouldn't react to her. Then she said, one day she woke up and decided that she didn't want to live like this anymore. So she stopped. She decided to be kind and warm and loving and their whole relationship changed radically.
I asked him what that was like for him and he said; "She was worth waiting for."
What struck me about this couple was that because she had made a clear decision to get along with him, she turned the relationship around completely. He chose not to argue with her and she eventually decided she was worth the love.
I suppose this is always the question. Am I worth it?
And the answer.....of course!